He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
