I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
