one might say we're banned from that church
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
