i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
