Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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