I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
The feeling are messing with the penis
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
