I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
