i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
