So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
