Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
