Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
