i think my mom watched the whole time
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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