Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
