So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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