so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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