So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Someone signed my nipple.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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