Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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