dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Enjoy the penises
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
