i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
