Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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