Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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