You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
