I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
