get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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