finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
