I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
