How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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