I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You can't just leave with hair like that
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
