The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
