i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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