so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
