I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize