i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
