Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
