tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
