smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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