His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
