oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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