it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
