I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
