Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
where am i from again
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
