had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
