I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
