I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Text me some of your sweat
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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