My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
