I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I lost the right to judge tonight
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
