He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
