That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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