i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
