Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
