Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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