Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
