Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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