i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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