ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
