remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
