Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
