This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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