it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I want her autograph on my taint
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
why is half of my head shaved?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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