you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
