Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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