He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
