I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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