I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize